when i was little, i never thought, "i want to be average when i grow up." yet somehow, the reality is that i feel very average - average looking, averagely intelligent, average wealth. where does that voice come from that says i'm not extraordinary?
when i think of the people that God used: david, a shepherd boy, mary, a poor girl, the thief on the cross - i would define all of them as average by any standard. but God uses the weak to confound the strong. why? is that always his MO? if so, there's hope for me.
i want to make an extraordinary difference in the world. but i'm learning, perhaps, my definitions of extraordinary are changing. i want to be someone special to my daughter; but instead of being her hero - set apart, higher than, someone to look up to, i want to be in relationship with her, giving and taking. i don't want to be the best homemaker for my husband, but someone who shares in his dreams and passions. i want to contribute to the man my son will someday become.
so, how do i reconcile these new visions of extraordinary with what the world is pressuring me to be instead? my focus has to shift from elevating the influence of strangers and people from a distance to elevating the people closest to me. will i let the influence of children and a simple man peruade me to focusing on being an extraordinary wife and mother? there is a choice for me to make - what will i choose?