Tuesday, November 3, 2009

do you see me?

when you look at me, what do you see? do you see me for more than what meets the eye, or the ear? do you see more than what labels me, defines me, categorizes me? do you see more than what i can do into who i am? were you to cast out every description of me, what would be your experience of me?

do you see me for more than appearances? a woman, 31, stylish, curly hair, overweight?

do you see me for more than what i say?...something funny, something smart, something wise...articulate, persuasive, emotive?

do you see me more than a label?...female, mother, wife, daughter, middle class, educated, white, american?

do you see me for more than what i can do?...teach, lead, speak, create, entertain, help, provide?

take all these words away from what you see when you see me and what's left?

do you have eyes to see a heart that longs to be embraced and understood? a will that searches for more and is not settled? brokenness from being overlooked and unchosen? invisible, even after all peacock attempts to be noticed? rejection for being too much and not enough at the same time? shame for being born the weaker sex? a mind trapped in analytic activity, trying to make sense of the world by not using senses? feelings that are rarely worn because they are understood as weakness? dreams that long to receive comfort, care, concern? frustration in my consenting to be accepted by what labels me, objectified over and over again? a guilty conscience for the mothering i've failed to do? one who doesn't experience peace and rest because i don't know what i see in myself?

past all the descriptions of what you see and what you hear and what you watch, can you see me?...if so, what is it you see?

k.

1 comment:

Emily said...

i c fun life waiting, yet eager