Wednesday, February 11, 2009

more about daddy

as i contemplate intimacy with my maker i've realized how much he wants from me the same things i desire from my husband. lately, i've told karl that he needs to ooh and ahh better. being that he is quite reserved and holds back, i asked him to practice affirming me with reckless abandon. now - for his personality, that's like asking a river to run up the mountain instead of down. but nonetheless, i want to be delighted in. i want to be admired and valued - and if i don't get it from my husband, my humanness will seek that same admiration from somewhere else. so, he agreed to try and i am praising his every effort.

so, if what i need from relationships is affirmation, does God want that from me to himself? i'm guessing he does. he wants to be admired for his handiwork, valued for his love and sacrifice and told so. i'm good at the, "thank you, Father for our food," but like i told karl - that is not a compliment given with pure awe and reckless abandon. so, i'm trying. but more than having the ability to ooh and ahh over my Father, i need eyes to see all that there is to ooh and awe over. of course, there is his creation, every sunset and song bird sings his praises. maybe living in colorado, i take his creation for granted - but i don't want to. i want eyes to see his amazing handiwork. i want to see how he is wooing me, impressing me, showing off. that's what i do for karl. i do my proverbial song and dance and seek his applause. and if God seeks my applause, isn't he songing and dancing too? i know he is. i know it. but i want to see it, to believe it! i want my oohing and ahhing to be thrills and trills of wonder, excitement and profound amazement at all that he is and is capable of. daddy, give me eyes to see your greatness that i may humbly offer my unabashed praise.

"what can a poor man lay at the foot of a king?" asks a song from point of grace. i believe as i give karl praises for merely attempting to meet my needs and speak my love, so i believe my king will delight in my pauper's bundled gift of oohs and ahhs.

k.

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