this form of self-expression is addicting. i've begun it and now, i don't know if i'll be able to quit it. there is a power in getting things out of my head and onto paper. i've journaled before-but this is different. you're reading my thoughts. my journal collects dust with it's scribbled nonsense...this-this is different. because i have you, my audience, this writing from my proverbial pen to paper (since it's really my fingers to keyboard) takes a new shape. i am creating for you. i am creating for your delight as well as my own.
is this somehow a telling of how we're made? are we made to share, to give, to create for one another?
i struggle with two sides of one coin. on the one side, i believe it must be enough that i write for myself. for my delight. without the need for someone else to kudos me. i have to be proud of myself, without my worth coming from another being proud of me. but there's the other side of that same coin. why have i not delighted nearly as much in my own journaling as now when i have you to share my writings with?